by Aaron Hansel
Cool as Hell: Junk Bikes for Sale
Saturday, October 6, 2012 | 8:00 AM
Share
Comment
Email
Print
Odds are you’ve been in the market for a used dirt bike, and have no doubt come across the many junk heaps from hell on Craigslist. Whether it’s due to obvious lies or outlandish tales from the seller, or the dilapidated condition of the machine itself, these ads are often hilarious. So, for our readers’ enjoyment, we’ve painstakingly clicked through several Craigslist listings and picked a few lucky winners to showcase. Read our evaluations and use the comments section below to tell us which ad features the best or worst purchase.
Judging by the description, the seller seems to think that this motorcycle is hot property. We do too, assuming the word, “hot,” signifies stolen. The first clue is the reference to a Kawasaki, when the bike pictured is obviously a Suzuki. Motorcycle enthusiasts know what brand of motorcycle they own, so clearly, something is up with this seller. He either has no clue what he stole, or he figures the rightful owner will be patrolling Craigslist to see if the bike pops up for sale and is hoping to cover his tracks by incorrectly advertising the brand. Then there’s the final line of the ad: “You can steal it for $1200.00 or make me an offer.” If it is indeed stolen, at least the thief is not without a sense of humor.
As is the case with most criminals, this bike bandito is most likely a complete moron and will land himself in county sooner or later. If he’s reading this, we suggest he stands behind those bars the bike is leaning against in the picture and get used to the view. If this isn’t a stolen machine, the seller deserves to be jailed for not taking the time to figure out what the hell he owns, not to mention calling a bike with black spray paint covering various pieces of bodywork, “like new.”
Click image to view ad.
Other than the standard, haggard condition of what appears to be a late 80s KX125, this ad actually isn’t too crazy; the bald tires, handlebars poking through the ends of the grips and slightly upward pointing rear fender are all to be expected when looking at a motocross bike of this vintage. What we can’t figure out is why the seller didn’t at least move the bike elsewhere before taking the picture in order to avoid advertising the telltale puddle directly underneath the engine. All he had to do was move the bike five feet, or to even to the other side of that stack if quality used tires.
The seller mentions he’d like to trade this green, faded neck-breaker for a boat or personal watercraft, which is a scary thought. If he approaches boating safety with the same attention to detail he uses to sell motorcycles, we’re guessing the contents of the Jet Ski’s fire extinguisher case will be immediately jettisoned to make room for a pair of tall Steel Reserves. Hey, at least he’ll have a couple cold ones to help ease the pain when he’s treading water in the middle of the lake watching his newest acquisition literally go down in flames. Cheers!
Click image to view ad.
Click image to view ad.
Click image to view ad.
Judging by the description, the seller seems to think that this motorcycle is hot property. We do too, assuming the word, “hot,” signifies stolen. The first clue is the reference to a Kawasaki, when the bike pictured is obviously a Suzuki. Motorcycle enthusiasts know what brand of motorcycle they own, so clearly, something is up with this seller. He either has no clue what he stole, or he figures the rightful owner will be patrolling Craigslist to see if the bike pops up for sale and is hoping to cover his tracks by incorrectly advertising the brand. Then there’s the final line of the ad: “You can steal it for $1200.00 or make me an offer.” If it is indeed stolen, at least the thief is not without a sense of humor.
As is the case with most criminals, this bike bandito is most likely a complete moron and will land himself in county sooner or later. If he’s reading this, we suggest he stands behind those bars the bike is leaning against in the picture and get used to the view. If this isn’t a stolen machine, the seller deserves to be jailed for not taking the time to figure out what the hell he owns, not to mention calling a bike with black spray paint covering various pieces of bodywork, “like new.”
Click image to view ad.
Other than the standard, haggard condition of what appears to be a late 80s KX125, this ad actually isn’t too crazy; the bald tires, handlebars poking through the ends of the grips and slightly upward pointing rear fender are all to be expected when looking at a motocross bike of this vintage. What we can’t figure out is why the seller didn’t at least move the bike elsewhere before taking the picture in order to avoid advertising the telltale puddle directly underneath the engine. All he had to do was move the bike five feet, or to even to the other side of that stack if quality used tires.
The seller mentions he’d like to trade this green, faded neck-breaker for a boat or personal watercraft, which is a scary thought. If he approaches boating safety with the same attention to detail he uses to sell motorcycles, we’re guessing the contents of the Jet Ski’s fire extinguisher case will be immediately jettisoned to make room for a pair of tall Steel Reserves. Hey, at least he’ll have a couple cold ones to help ease the pain when he’s treading water in the middle of the lake watching his newest acquisition literally go down in flames. Cheers!
Click image to view ad.
http://fresno.craigslist.org/mcy/3293686485.html
A word of wisdom to the seller: If the picture of the machine clearly shows that the side plates are missing and the pipe has been bashed more times than Tom Hoffarth following the 2011 L.A. Supercross, don’t say that a blown top end and forks are all that’s wrong with the machine. Also, why not go ahead and mention the Pro-Action suspension mods and steering damper? Don’t worry, the fact that this particular bike isn’t stock isn’t going to serve as deal-breaker for any potential conservative buyers out there.
At $300, at least the price of this bike probably isn’t terribly far from its actual worth, although a glance at the registration sticker on the fork reveals that this bike hasn’t been legal since 2008. Considering the DMV fees that are probably steeper than Henry Hill, we’d rather take the pair of lawnmowers and PW80 in the background. That way we’d at least have a pit bike to ride until we saved up enough lawn-mowing cash to buy a real bike.
Click image to view ad.
We really don’t even know what to say about this listing, and we must admit that a picture of a standup arcade game was the last thing we expected to see when clicking through the seemingly endless list of Craigslist calamities. The shame in this situation belongs not to the seller, but to the person willing to trade an ATV of equal value for this game. Granted, we’d rather ride a dirt bike any day of the week than anything with four wheels, but if you’re going to get rid of an ATV, at least sell it and use the cash to purchase a motocross bike, especially when cheap, classic video games are only a few inexpensive clicks away on Ebay.
On second thought, if you are thinking about contacting the seller because you’d rather spend your days setting high scores on this unit’s outdated “90 preinstalled games” than twisting the throttle and ripping around a track or shredding through the woods, perhaps you don’t belong in motorsports. Go ahead and do the deal, and while you’re at it, renew your subscription to Feline Grooming.
Click image to view ad.
So what are the best or worst buys? Will Hot Property, Telltale Puddle, Missing Side Plates or Avid Gamer take the crown? Let us know in the comments section below.
See a bike you think would make a good fit for this column? Send an e-mail over to [email protected]
Did you like this article?
Check out TEAM HONDA AT DAWN
in our Latest issue of Racer X available now.
Forty years ago, Team Honda arrived on the American motocross circuit with a brand new motorcycle: the game-changing Elsinore CR250. Page 170.
Look for the verified symbol 
Impulse Studios
The second one down is not a 125cc it's actually a kx500
honestly as hard as it to come by two strokes I could reasonably see that suzuki pulling a grand , I had a 2000 rm 250 I sold it for $1500 if I remember correctly like two years ago, Of coarse it wasnt stolen like your suggesting it may be lol
I dont think for that 1997 it looks half bad ?
Just curious has anyone on here actually tried calling these phone numbers listed by the seller for fun ? Its crossed my mind but I havent , bet it would be a interesting conversation lol
Telltale Puddle is hands down the winner! LMAO at Steel Reserves!
@ mxrider 920, if that is a KX500 then he swapped out the rear fender
He swapped the fender. No way thats a 125, look at the pipe.
Arcade game looks like its in Mr-Mx house but he lives south of there. I know he talked about the Nut cracker that he had or was that his wife .............LOL !!!!!!! You should see that baben !!!!! "Smokin "
Why would anyone swap out the rear fender of a KX500? Other than the fact it is the ugliest rear fender ever put on a motorcycle in the history of mankind.
Nothing is cool about any of those bikes.
"ugliest rear fender ever put on a motorcycle in the history of mankind"
That would be a good "The List" idea. There would be many contenders. Ugly front fenders could have some current contenders, like any KTM from the last 10 years or YZ450 from 2009 - present.
Holy gas tank on the kawi! Dang !!!! That thing hold like 5 gallons or something??? Man is that thing huge!
@6overzilla thats a 500 tank, pipe, and look at the cylinder, no kips. I have a restored 86 kx125, that is a 500
The 5-honey is the best deal at $700, even with the peccadillos, and bladder issues. The worst is the moronic video game. Inlaws think that we are childish, pre-adolescent cromagnons when we ride our bikes, so there is no reason to prove them right by having a childish, pre-adolescent game sitting proudly in the middle of our house (then yelling at our pre-adolescent children not to scratch it up). It is better to get some high-falutin books that you will never read and scatter them about the house so your inlaws will just label you "eccentric" and leave it at that.
The 5Hunksy is sano as it gets. So the idiot overtorqued and stripped the drain bolt, right after he looped her out and turned the stock rear fender into a sand shovel. The fork seals appear to be legit, the oversized Maier or Clarke tank is era-correct, she appears to have the stock shifter intact, and the seat cover doesn't even need any black Gorilla Tape yet. That machine is a compression test away from 'Cool as He!!'. Somebody local needs to snatch that dune runner up . . . or maybe this is how the RacerX staff likes to move the old machines they have laying around . . . either way, keep it up guys, and the additional posts from other states in the comments section is hilarious as well. This should be a weekly post, especially during the silly season. Deuces.
You guys are right, that's definitely not a 125, although in the add that's what the owner refers to it as!
Aaron - with all due respect Sir; we, the subscribers and fanatics, require that all on the RacerX staff have a combined MX knowledge, of everything MX, greater than our knowledge. We work for The Man during the week while you and yours are completely submerged in moto. As mxrider920 noted, just because some internet used car salesman typed that the green bike with an expansion chamber was a KX Bucktwentyfive, we expect more from all that are in charge of one of the better MX sites . . . with that said where is the youtube link for somebody pulling a 5th gear stand up in the Cali sand on that bad mammajamma KX500 . . . cool as heck. . . .
Motodog, yup, like I said, it's definitely not a 125. The pipe, among other things, is a dead giveaway.
I am just stunned at the recklessness of a major publication repeatedly, and in writing, accusing someone of being a thief, printing their freakin' phone number and saying the should get used to the view from behind bars. I think you better hope real hard that nobody CALLS that number and makes him aware of what you wrote, because if you are wrong, you would have one hell of a lawsuit on your hands. How irresponsible.
@ mgwest949 dont read and go back to golf f& ggggottt
Golf? WTF? I have raced and ridden my whole life. Doesn't change the fact that the article was irresponsible. So shut the hell up and take your meds kid.
OH MY GARSH!!! I've been searching for a Arcade Legends game!!! But shucks... he doesn't find KTM quads to his liking or i'd be all over it... or not.
I think the 500 leaked so many cc's that it's now a 125
and the Suzuki, according to the shrouds, is a 2000.
@mgwest949 printing his phone number? its posted on the internet. craigslist is also on the internet. where anyone with a computer and a connection can find it if they tried... i don't see what your problem is.