by Aaron Hansel
Cool As Hell: Junk Bikes for Sale
Friday, October 12, 2012 | 9:15 AM
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By now most of you have seen our new weekly feature in which we scour Craigslist for the funniest ads and most haggard looking bikes we can find. Judging by the number of emails we’ve received that contain links to ads selling battered beaters and hunks of twisted metal that used to be motocross bikes, many of you have even gotten into the spirit of things yourselves. So, in honor of your participation, here are a few Craigslist ads submitted by our readers. As usual, be sure to use the comments section below to tell us which ad features the best or worst purchase.
Plywood Perversion
Plywood Perversion
The seller begins the ad by mentioning that this is “Not the prettiest bike,” and boy is he right. In fact, he should receive some sort of award for truth in advertising with that statement. A brief glance reveals what appears to be black spray paint (a common theme found here on Cool as Hell), a missing rear fender, a brake lever angled almost completely straight down, registration that expired nearly a decade ago and a seat fashioned from plywood. But hey, at least the timber saddle is painted to match the rest of the bike, and hats off to the seller for using a renewable resource to build it. Who says dirt bikes can’t go green?
The photo of the bike itself also leaves something to be desired, although after some thought, we decided that the marginal view of the machine was part of the seller’s strategy. After all, a bike that’s covered in leaves and spiders and looks like it’s been stored outside leaning against the back of the house for the last year probably wouldn’t look any better out in the open sun. Plus, you've gotta get that wood seat angled away from the camera! Why put effort into something that may decrease your chances of a successful sale?
The Silver Lining: If it miraculously holds together, a big-bore two-stroke junker like this can provide the right buyer with hours minutes of cheap, blindingly fast straight-line entertainment at the sand dunes. The best part? You don’t even have to worry about locking it up at night.
Click image to view ad
Overspray
In the last ad we mentioned that black spray paint is a common theme here, and this ad just helps prove our point. Whoever painted this beauty was definitely in a hurry, as evidenced by what looks like overspray on the seat and a lack of paint on the front fender right behind the forks. Come on, you couldn’t spare a couple minutes to remove the bodywork in order to give this tiddler a proper rattle canning? The bike is also missing a radiator cap and has what the seller describes as a “water leak in the moter.” So, the water you want in the bike comes out and the water you don't stays in! No big deal, moisture sitting in the engine internals probably isn’t that big of a deal, right?
All paint and coolant issues aside, perhaps the biggest travesty of this ad is the $1000 asking price. We couldn’t even find a Bluebook value for a KX125 this old, but we’re pretty sure the only way this hapless heap could reach a four-digit value is if you included the numbers on the right side of the decimal point.
The Silver Lining: Thanks to the spray-paint-maestro, this beast is sporting some killer black rims--that's a style trend that didn't come along until way, way after 1989. So nicely done to modernize the thing!
Click image to view ad
Stickers and Tape
At first glance this bike doesn’t look that bad, but any time a motorcycle is sporting several hundred pounds of stickers, has a year’s supply of duct tape holding the seat together and is shod with knobbies that look more like street slicks, you just know there’s going to be a few gremlins hiding in there somewhere. The first issue is the missing rear brake system, which is mentioned by the seller in his description of the bike: “im selling my kdx 200 good running bike it only got front brakes interested in trades it for woods beater or car that needs a little work.”
What’s even more entertaining than that half-hearted sales pitch is the reason the bike has no rear brakes. Take a quick look at the rear wheel. It’s a little blurry so it’s difficult to tell for sure, but we’re pretty certain that the rear hub is of the drum brake variety. What’s the problem, you ask? When this bike was new, it came equipped with disc brakes! The muffler definitely isn’t stock either, although it doesn’t resemble any aftermarket mufflers of the era. Given the fact that someone has rammed a rear wheel from some other model onto this bike, it’s anyone’s guess what’s going on with the exhaust.
The Silver Lining: In keeping with the theme of black spray paint, someone has beautified this machine’s frame with a can of it. The silver lining here is that they at least had the good sense to remove the bodywork before doing so.
Click image to view ad
Multiple Power Bands
The entertainment from this dirty gem comes not from the bike itself, but almost entirely from the wording of the ad, which is why we’re going to let the seller do most of the talking in this entry.
“IT is a Kawasaki Kx 125 it is extremely fast..has a power band in each gear..it was built for racing... Will crank up and run without a problem..nearly brand new tires on front and back..the brakes work good some decals are peeling..but still extremely reliable... I am looking for a 4 stroke 250 but will consider other trades just let me know what you have or i will take 1000 cash”
Finally, a bike built for racing that has a power band in each gear! We can’t tell you how many bikes we’ve ridden that could have easily won shootouts if the manufacturer would have just included a power band in every gear! We’re not sure if the power bands in this machine are stock or aftermarket, but does it really matter? The important part is that it has them. IN EACH GEAR!
The Silver Lining: Unless this machine originally sported a triple-digit number and the middle number fell off somewhere, it’s running #47, which means there’s a very slight chance that this bike actually belongs to the legendary Jeff Emig.
Click image to view ad
Now it’s time for you to explain whether Plywood Perversion, Overspray, Stickers & Tape or Multiple Powerbands is the best buy.
See a bike you think would make a good fit for this column? Send an e-mail over to [email protected]
If you’ve been offended by anything you read here, you can also send us an email, but first, try taking a deep breath, relax, and remember, we don’t care, it’s all in good fun.
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So happens I have some 80+ powerbands for sale. Most are metric but I have a few English Standard. I also have 7 lightly used Factory powerbands off old works bikes. I also have a powerband clustering tool which, as you know, allows installing up to 3 powerbands per gear.
The plywood seat Can-Am wins. The last phrase, "I don't ever ride it" is unneccessary and obvious. We don't know what year it is, but I'm pretty sure Can-Am hasn't made a 2-wheeler since the 80's. The front brake lever position actually looks about right. If my seat was that inviting, I would have my head up over the bars most of the time, Bubba style, anyway, trying to prepare myself for the lightswitch powerband of an 80's 500cc 2-stroke trying to keep it from looping.
Jeez @ElsinoreRacer it sounds like you've got some NASA tech right there. My guess is the shuttle would still be flying with some fresh powerbands, but I think that space bird lost 4th gear so maybe it was irrepairable damage. What a shame.
Also interesting that 3/4 of these are Kawasaki 2-strokes. Does this infer some sort of longevity of old Kawi motors, or perceived value passed along from one generation of spode owner to the next?
Elsinore: What powerband does a Canadian bike use, or will one of the newer universal Chinese powerbands fit?
These bad boys offer the handy mechanic plenty of time to commune with his tools and spend fun-filled hours at the parts counter of his local racing establishment.
Just think of your chest filling with pride as you wheel some savagely beaten and tortured bike into your man cave, then a short 15 months later and the approximate cost of a term of undergraduate stufy at Notre Dame, wheeling out a shiny like-new bike that, on its best day, would only cause mild blunt force trauma on a random part of your body as a way of thanking you.
Some bikes need to live with the owners they currently have just to get back at them for the punishment that was metted out during the "running" years.
The reason that Kawasakis are for sale in the fall is that they are green and the rest of the farm field is brown - a color that the underbelly of society fears most. The other bikes have already been glazed over with rust, weeds and children's unused plastic yard furnature, and are effectively camoflaged like a army sniper on manoevers.
Oh man, the last KX with a power band IN EVERY GEAR, wins hands down, Im not sure the kid with the Hodaka, had 1 in EVERY gear,...................pheeeeewie dooooooey....... LMAO! wonderful stuff.!!
hahahahaha perfect, thanks for the laugh!
I like the bargain priced kx125, but I found this one also in my area, http://semo.craigslist.org/mcy/3327948487.html
Golly Gee Billy Bob says ElsinoreRacer beat me to the Powerband sale we were gonna have! Now we gotta see if Office Max will reund our money?
Now it would seem like everone should know why most of the bikes are painted black? I would suppose it is because they are stolen? Or maybe they are Mike Alessi fans?Billy Bob told me that is how Mike gets his bikes and why he has em black.Then again Billy Bob can get a 40th place holeshot anytime,anywhere!
@ CZmark and some other that asked where have I been??? I dunno? Oh been having problems with uninsured driver? Now they say they were insured???? I am gonna let State Farm take care of it now. Also been having some health problems, nothing serious. Oh then ther is the female problem also?/ I stil cant figure out women but if you read the Sarhar Witmore article in the last RacerX iit will explain somthing? They talk about the last time they bled? Do we talk about the las nut we got while we are sitting on the starting line????? OK I gotta get out of here before I get in trouble!
Take care allllllllll anyhoooooooooo......
LETS RACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dpx209 Yours wins. Hands DOWN! The mis-spellings are entertaining, but the front brake lever throttle conversion takes it!
PPS: @ Dpx209 ok tha one wins!!!!!!!!!!! I want one. I always change the brakes on the mountain bikes to front brake on the right. then that really messes up people that dont ride moto.
Powerbands all the way. Would love to ask that guy how the powerbands actually work in the bike, and where exactly are they located. Do they need to be lubricated, replaced.
Dpx209 good find!
Looks like they've taken a page from the 81 YZ's with the rad on the front forks! Well done.
Even though these bikes are old, are the powerbands too old for trailriding? Do dealers still service the older powerbands? and if powerband parts are no longer available, can you buy or trade them on Ebay? I don't know if a factory powerband would even fit on a stocker, but I appreciate the offer from ElsinoreRacer
Everyone knows that a real factory powerband would never fit on a stocker – even with a spacer. But once the production rule was in place and true ‘factory’ bikes were outlawed, the powerbands the race teams used could be reconditioned and modified to fit a showroom bike. Back in the day the factories would replace their powerbands after every race. If you were smart you could dive the dumpster behind Honda or Suzuki and find at least 5 or 6 powerbands no problem. And some were in pretty good condition. Oh sure the dafflers were usually bent but you could buy a kit for that.
ElsinoreRacer, I was wondering if you had any purple ones.I heard those are the hot setup.
@Elsinore I think Chad Reed wants one of those really narrow 1974 Honda Elsinore 125 powerbands for his new Honda 450.I heard those work really good in SX.
The last time I Changed the powerbands on my RMZ, I first to them to my local bungee store to have them re-elasticized. I also had the guys add a 49 degree wedge to the 2nd and 3rd gear bands. The only problem was that when I reinstalled them I had to use a combination of my skrewver rotator and and extra long johnson bar! Next time I think I will just skip the extra wedge 'cuz it really makes the clutch hard to twist and the throttle lever even harder to pull...
I've heard a lot of powerbands in bars. They usually consist of four or more members. I don't understand how you fit them in a bike, let alone one in every gear. I'm used to being confused, but this might be hard for me to get past...