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Ask Ping!

Friday, April 15, 2011 | 9:55 AM
Dearest Ping,

I do a lot of reading on the moto boards and read many of the regular know-it-alls daily diarrhea. My question, if we were to write down everything they know about moto on a tiny piece of paper and shove it up a gnat’s ass, would it rattle around in there like a BB in a boxcar?

Seeking wisdom,
Jerry Taylor

 

  • Or a motocross insider with the answer to everything.

Dear Jerry,

Yes.

PING

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Ping,

It might sounds irrational, but is there any possibility NOT to do an air wheelie? I'm doing it every time... I've wrote the same message to Trey Canard but I'm not sure if he's going to answer, so I thought that you could ask him.

It's serious man...

Keep your front wheel high!

Greetings form Poland!

Krzysztof Tomaszek

 

 

  • The Duck gets fresh to death over the finish line jump.
Dear Krzysztof,

You have a couple things going for you: First, the spelling of your name. I can’t imagine having to spell that for the brain trust over at Starbucks while ordering a latte. By the time you hit the first Z in your name their heads would explode. But you pull it off, man. I read your letter several times in my best Taddy Blazusiak accent and somehow Krzysztof rolls off the tongue nicely; Kudos to your folks for picking out a doozie.

Second, the air wheelie is the coolest thing since pierogi, thanks to Trey Canard’s opening ceremony tradition where he sails the finish line jump with his Honda’s front fender pointed skyward. I always think he is about to crash every time! And any time my bike starts staring at the clouds I stab the rear brake or throw myself forward to bring it back down. I’m too scared to pull it off. But you have it down… and off of every jump! That is awesome. Keep it up. Literally. You might also want to get in touch with the boys at Raise it Up (www.raiseituptv.com). Those are some very skilled urban gentlemen who can wheelie a dirt bike better than any rider lined up for a supercross main event. If you haven’t seen their videos you should check one out. Maybe they are looking for recruits?

PING

 

Hi ping. Well, I just wanted to ask your opinion: I’ve been a fan of the sport since a little kid, but in my country (Cyprus) there’s not too much going on with motocross events or any other events of this kind. We got only 3 tracks on the whole island. So, is it worth it to come all the way to USA to race or have a career there or is it to difficult to attract attention from sponsors or factory teams these days as the level of motocross/supercross has gone up the last few years?

Thanks a lot Alex
Larnaca-Cyprus

 

 

  • If you look like this in a goddess outfit we can get you a job here right now... working for Monster.
Dear Alex,

That’s one thing that is great about this sport: It doesn’t matter where you’re from. We’ve had two national champions from South Africa, for Pete’s sake. Between Albee, GL and that wanker that just won the Masters golf tourney I’m starting to wonder if there’s something in the water down there. You know, aside from malaria.

Alex, don’t let the fact that you are from the land of Aphrodite deter you from chasing your dream of being a motocross star. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough and you have the genetics, heart and financial wherewithal to make it happen. But, you know, use some common sense. Make sure you are the fastest guy on your island. Then maybe take the short boat ride to a couple GPs and see how it goes. And if you are competitive there then you might just make it here on US soil. That is if you can get through the supercross season healthy, which is about as likely as a grown women rising out of sea foam from a man’s severed genitals and floating to shore on a clam shell. You know what I’m talking about, right? Anyway, good luck and I’ll see you at a supercross real soon.

PING

 

Got a question for Ping? Email him at [email protected].

 

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The Conversation

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"I just puked in my mouth a little" wrote: 10:12am April 15, 2011

Get over yourself David Pingree. There he goes, pretty much taking a jab at everybody who posts on these boards!!! I guess we are not allowed as fans to have an opinion and state them on here. There is apparently a requirement of being a "moto genius" like ping (umphhg, i just puked in my mouth a little)!!!

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Well Done wrote: 10:14am April 15, 2011

Nice use of the word "wanker".

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Welker wrote: 10:15am April 15, 2011

Ping I dont know where you got that pic of the puter geek but I would just about swear I went to school with that guy his name was Harold Satterly I think?
And about the air wheelies ya everyone should chaeck out those guys and that website I do think they can do the whelie. I too would always hit the brakes and climb the bars when I did an air wheelie but rather crash from that than endo I have done both a few times.

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jd wrote: 10:22am April 15, 2011

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! good one Pinger!!

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BillC wrote: 10:34am April 15, 2011

Two ?? from out side the USA... Ping has gone Global!!!

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wildbill wrote: 11:12am April 15, 2011

what about reed? He too is from a forign island..

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Johnny O'Hannah wrote: 11:22am April 15, 2011

Hey Jerry are we recycling my jokes?? "shove it up a gnat’s ass, would it rattle around in there like a BB in a boxcar?" Ive used it on here and facebook numerous times to insult.

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Acejas wrote: 11:33am April 15, 2011

Ahh, that's special someone reads us. Dude, Ping not cool to post my face on this site. and my goddess too haha.

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bigtireguy wrote: 11:34am April 15, 2011

another great write up. Always look forward to the Ping write-ups. those guys are good on the wheelies!!

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thedistrict wrote: 12:22pm April 15, 2011

Ha ha, lol and lmao!!! Ping, you kill it every time!

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ride111mph wrote: 12:28pm April 15, 2011

I think Poser was David's gear guy from back in his day racing. Air Wheelie? My butt is still puckerd up from doing that 10 years ago.

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Greg wrote: 12:38pm April 15, 2011

I loved doing air wheelies on Nintendo Excite Bike, problem was bike would over heat then endo. Good times.

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JonR290 wrote: 12:39pm April 15, 2011

Since Ping posts articles and comments, his knowledge is lumped onto the piece of paper rattling in the bozcar. Does that mean if you took everything he knows and wrote it on a piece of paper it would rattle around inside the BB itself "like a BB in a boxcar"? Just sayin....

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idpriot wrote: 12:45pm April 15, 2011

How cool is it for any lame-o on the planet to think they can just come to America, buy a bike and suddenly be challenging for podiums with the 450 guys. Professional Supercross... Its so easy, even a Cypriot can do it.

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Dak446 wrote: 12:51pm April 15, 2011

Wildbill, australia is a continent...

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endoman wrote: 1:33pm April 15, 2011

You're both right. Australia is both a continent and a country.

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Carlsbad wrote: 1:33pm April 15, 2011

FULL DISCLOSURE ALERT: Yes, we are ALL d-bags for not having anything better going on in our lives than creeping on a Moto-related website on the frickin computer when everyone knows it's really for internet porn, duh.

On the other hand, how else is anybody going to know it was brett fartwinkle that heard from his second cousin's ex brother in-law's half-sister that Johnny O'Hannah moved his shocks up 3/16ths of an inch for better hook up in the whoops?????

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Acejas wrote: 2:04pm April 15, 2011

Carlsbad, too funny! You can get porno on the internet?? No way! Time to cancel my subscription to Women's health!

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bd200 wrote: 2:07pm April 15, 2011

Internet tough guy!! love that one. I bet there are a bunch of guys on here just like that.

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Tough guy wrote: 2:42pm April 15, 2011

Wow thats some funny stuff, "internet touagh guy". I definitly understand what Pings perspective is here, but i also understand some of the other people on here wanting to voice their opinion. Theres a difference between voicing your opinion and downright savagly ruining a rider.

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The average discussion board poster wrote: 4:03pm April 15, 2011

Wow ping sure is stupid. By the way my favorite rider is awesome and every other rider sucks big time. About the air wheelie, I can ride a wheelie all the way up LaRocco's leap and keep that wheelie through the air and land on the rear tire and maintain the wheelie all the way to the next corner before I have to drop the front tire on the ground. I am the pinnacle of motocross whatever!!!!!

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Another dumb a$$ poster wrote: 4:10pm April 15, 2011

James Stewert is the most bestest racer ever and Chad Reed sucks. Don't bash on me because this is my opinion and I am entitled to it. By the way my opinion is right and everyone that disagrees with me is a do do head. It my opinion whatever!!!!

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bald & dumb 200 wrote: 4:22pm April 15, 2011

Hey ping what you said about Internet tough guys put the rage inside of me. My mom said she would take me to the Seattle supercross. If I see you in the pits, I am gonna kick your butt. I am gonna show you how tough I am.

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travisd wrote: 4:39pm April 15, 2011

Wow Ping mis-spelled a word! All hope is truly lost. Deter?

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websters dictionary wrote: 4:54pm April 15, 2011

de·ter

verb \di-ˈtər, dē-\

de·terredde·ter·ring

Definition of DETER

transitive verb

1

: to turn aside, discourage, or prevent from acting



keep looking dumb a$$

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mr obvious wrote: 4:56pm April 15, 2011

guess ping is right

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I'm bad wrote: 5:00pm April 15, 2011

Yes, the posters on this website are d-bags. So lets keep posting and proving mr ping right.

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Jerry wrote: 6:01pm April 15, 2011

Geez, you guys really need to lighten up. It was just some light hearted joking. I include myself in the "boxcar" group because I'm a participant.

To the guy claiming I'm using his jokes. Ok Carrot Top, sorry. I'm sure whoever I heard that expression from (which was before RacerX or FB) doesn't know you, I don't know you, so it's highly likely it's not your original "material" either.

How's that comedy career going?

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travisd wrote: 6:32pm April 15, 2011

Well I learned a new word today and stand corrected! Thanks!!!

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Mandella wrote: 6:52pm April 15, 2011

VIVA SOUTH AFRICA, VIVA!

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GraciousOne wrote: 8:28pm April 15, 2011

"I just puked in my mouth a little" hit the nail on the head. The usual "Well, you aren't entitled to an opinion unless you can ride as fast as James Stewart" crap. Ping, don't try to come across on the moral high ground after your compatriot "Dr. Weigandt" gave us his brilliant dissertation on traction control which showed zero knowledge and zero research. Since he works for Racer X, I guess he's exempt from the "unless you've made a supercross main keep your mouth shut" rule that we fans are subject to.

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CJNunes426 wrote: 3:28am April 16, 2011

Maybe all you brown nosers should stop kissing the guy's ass next time he tries to spam his worthless video on vital. Dude's a hypocrite. Why a career 125 class nobody would have such an ego, I cannot quite understand.

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JonR290 wrote: 8:12am April 16, 2011

Have a website that encourages comments and discussion from your customers then have Ping insult your customers by telling them they are all stupid. To top it off, post a picture of a fat slob to depict and further insult your customers. An interesting business model.

Also watched Ryno’s video. Time to add Ryno’s exercises to my daily routine lest I start looking like the fat slob in the picture.

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Milton W. wrote: 9:40am April 16, 2011

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler?

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Pingree wrote: 9:54am April 16, 2011

All of you talking trash just further prove my point. The guys who post respectful comments and have friendly banter about the sport we all love are great... I have no problem with that... That was the intention of the message board. But that accounts for about five percent of the posting population. the other 95 are just pissed off about life and they use places like Vital and the bottom of these free articles to piss on anything and everything they like. Excuse me if I don't show those people proper respect but they suck.

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Dan B wrote: 9:58am April 16, 2011

First and last time I'll post on a message board.


I'm sure commenting on posts is not the issue here, it's more likely the fact the body of some of the posts is incomprehensible to anyone with 10+ brain cells.


Reading them gives you the impression most Racer X followers are 12 years old and possibly don't posses/never used a passport/atlas of the world.


Here in the UK if we have beef with someone we either A) Shut up and get on with it B) Moan to our mates or C) Wait until the weekend, go down the pits and have it out with them.


Keep up the good work Ping and Brotocross is definitely the future....

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Carlsbad wrote: 4:38pm April 16, 2011

It's entirely possible Pingree's statements were taken out of context. There are sarcastic, abrasive people that are still funny and entertaining, you just have to "get" their brand of humor. This is a pretty big audience they're reaching and maybe the jokes don't translate as well among the broader audience.........or not.

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AlexCYPRUS wrote: 7:59am April 19, 2011

idpriot i was the guy who send the email to ping as everyone who race dirt bikes its dreams is to be big and famous as all the top guys i know that i probably never be successful as they are but i just wanted some extra info. and i never thought that i can beat them i just wanted to know how the industries response to upcoming riders you moron.

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