Ask Ping!
Friday, March 4, 2011 | 9:45 AM
ODI dates back to the 1980’s as the leader in grip manufacturing. Focusing primarily on the bmx and mountain bike industries through the 90’s and early 2000’s, ODI re-entered the motocross scene when they developed the patented lock-on grip system that eliminates wire and glue. Continuing to advance the way riders hold on to their bikes, ODI has worked closely with the teams they support such as Troy Lee Designs to create the product that is now being used by some of the top teams in the industry.
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Ping,
How do I unlock my hips? It seems to be the reason I was never a champion. Ryno's critique on Chad Reed's riding technique was rather interesting, to say the least. All I know is I just ordered up some Ryno urine, Ryno Organic chick peas and got my hard cover of Don’t Stop the Swagger. Night show, here I come.
Joe
Unlock them.
Don’t worry, Joe, I never figured out how to unlock my hips either, as it turns out. One thing about Ryno is that, right or wrong, he believes what he is saying is fact. I’m not sure if unlocking your hips or eating organic Horny Goatweed is the answer to being a faster dirt bike rider, but I’m certainly not going to argue with him about it. If he ever wakes up one morning and decides the sky is purple, buckle up. He is going to be out in force preaching the good word of purple skies until he has a flock of converts. That passion, drive and self-confidence is probably what made him such a great rider, but if he wants to think it’s got something to do with untouched Chinese Yum-Yum roots and some sort of loose hip syndrome, well, I’m not going to argue with him. See you in a night show soon.
PING
Dear Ping,
I fear you’ve been punk’d in silico. You see, I’ve been playing a lot of Mad Skills Motocross on my iPhone. It’s really fun, but there is something strange about it. Over the past few days, I’ve broken about 552 frames from flat landing the bike after hucking it 300 feet. In my decades of riding/racing, the only frame fold that I’ve witnessed was chronicled in your excellent DVD, Motocross 101 by David Pingree. Ergo, I think some clever guy at the Racer X headquarters paid to have that “feature” built into the game. (I can just hear them in Morgantown – “@#$@#$%!...I just Pingree’d another bike…”) You need to find out who got you and then deliver a swift-but-silent karate chop to the windpipe.
Mark
New York City
P.S. My money is on Weigandt – that guy is shifty.
This guy is about to Pingree that bike.
So it isn’t just me? I’ve been quietly wondering if that was some sort of passive/aggressive jab at my misfortune that night. I can’t even play Mad Skills without rolling all the jumps because every time I OJ something and snap my forks off I end up tucked in the fetal position under my bed having some type of Vietnam flashback. It probably is that Weigandt fella; he is a sadistic bastard. A karate chop is nice, but I might have to take a cue from Chuck Norris on this one and go with a roundhouse kick to the trachea. Now all I have to do is Google ‘Roundhouse Kick’ and then learn how to perform one like a ninja. Thanks for the heads-up, Mark.
PINGREED
Dear Ping,
I am a girl (well..‘ole girl’ now)…who has always been athletic and has always liked watching moto/supercross. A good friend of mine races and I go to the track with him to watch his motos. We talk strategy, skill, style and what it takes to be a great moto/supercross rider. My favorite part of the weekend is when we settle down in front of the 62” plasma with our alcoholic beverage of choice and watch the latest round of supercross.
Only one aspect of supercross interferes with the perfect evening: when those Monster girls crash my party. My friend stops in mid-sentence whenever a Monster girl shows up in all of her 62” hi-def glory. He used to be polite and pretend that his mid-sentence pause was to watch the scrolling list of rider positions on the top of the screen or to take a swig of his Bud Light. However, now when those tramps make their inevitable appearance, he can’t hold back. It started as a little noise under his breath, then grew to a comment here and there and until finally this last week, after the camera man made sure we all understood what shrunken leather does to breasts, my friend spewed a rant about ‘bustiers’ and ‘thigh high boots’ like he was Joan Rivers giving a rave review on the red carpet.
Bitter? Perhaps. Look, when I was 26, I also had an ass that could make a ‘D’ class rider do a Justin Barcia rear-fender-whip double take. Now, though, not so much. As a result, I am working hard to stave off a bleak future riddled with cats and book clubs, and these Monster card bitches are messing with my progress. I don’t need this weekly reminder to switch to light beer and go to the gym and I sure as hell don’t want my friend reminded of that fact.
I’m sure you’ve been waiting for my ultimate point and question, so here it is: how about giving us ole girls a break? Just like you guys celebrated the old supercross champions this past week, how about we celebrate us women who fall into the 40-plus range and actually remember the first release of Thriller. How about we get some vintage Monster girls who wear spanx instead of leather and who will cause a collective man cave cry across America for the return of analog television. I want to see a real woman out there, one that can actually count down from 30, who will carry the torch for us mid-life phillies on the end of our smoldering Malboros and who will cause my friend to turn to me and say “Damn girl, you look good for your age,” before passing out.
Sincerely yours,
Paige
PS: Don’t cry for me. I’m armed with a good pair of tweezers and some kick ass face cream and I read somewhere that beer goggles cancel out 3-D goggles when my friend finally decides to upgrade that 62”.
Fine, we'll get this chick signed up for the next round.
I’d love to be on your side on this one, sweetheart, but you’re not painting me a very pretty picture in your story. From what I gather in your text you are a chubby, wrinkly, forty-something, beer-drinking smoker who may or may not have a disturbing amount of body hair. Have I nailed the pertinent facts as you stated them?
I don’t think we have any Mensa members out there holding the 30-second card up. And I know for a fact that the chitty-chat that goes on underneath the team manager’s tower on the infield between starts is not exactly cerebral think-tank content. But the fact that your Budweiser-marinated amigo, who it sounds like you are crushing on pretty hard coincidentally, actually pauses, mouth gaping, and stares at the screen in silence for 30 seconds at a time doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with him. That is a visceral male response to that particular visual stimulation. And while all men would be able to use that 30 seconds to run to the fridge and grab another cold one if we used the “vintage” gals you suggest, I’m afraid the internet message boards simply could not handle that. Fans are already exasperated with the television broadcast, from what I read, and to replace the surgically enhanced teenage Monster girls with old-timey grenades would cause a meltdown crisis the likes of which we haven’t experienced here since the Three Mile Island incident. Nobody wants that, do they?
I’m not going to tell you that you should set down the booze and the smokes and go for a jog once in a while. I’m not going to do it. But if you aren’t going to make a change there you better keep the face cream coming and get to plucking hairs like you are readying a turkey for Thanksgiving. Because a lifestyle like that has a price and all the beer goggles, Spanx and makeup in the world won’t get you to Monster girl status when you have cirrhosis, lung cancer and a mustache.
Cheers
PING
Got a question for Ping? E-mail him at [email protected].
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So many times I have tried to unlock my hips just not that often on my bike. Also I don't know how great the "d" class of monster girls would be I think some viewers would stop tuning in. And as for Mad Skills I guarentee I have broke more frames on that game than Ktm could have ever dreamed of. Great posts Ping hopefully we see you back at Powder Mountain this year.
Ryan Hughes is a California Liberal kook. Every dumbass in California thinks they are a "trainer" which requires no license. There is a reason Organic food can not be marketed as "Healthier" "Better for You" by law. It is a marketing ploy for your dollars. It is like every product now is "Natural". He some how brainwashes some riders?? Side note: Google "Bohemian Grove"
OMG - That picture is gruesome! It's gonna haunt me in my sleep!! PING, you S.O.B.!!
Haha Classic!! Good read Ping!
On that last post, I couldn't help the constant image of the fat lady that works at the pizza parlor on Mr. Deeds. This stuff is hilarious, keep it coming!
"old-timey grenades"
Well done, sir.
Good stuff HAHAHA
HA Ha, you found a picture of the original Monster girl!!
I think Ping has finally met his match. Now I think I'm going to be sick.
i may or may not have already slept with the 40-something nicotine stained front tooth, mustached beast in the last question.
Wow haha
Pizzacorner, Calling Ryan Hughes a Kook? living dangerously through the internet, how manly. Ryno would blow through a triathalon, climb a waterfall and flip Chuck Norris like a pancake before walking up to your pizza-chowing studliness and "one-punching" you inside out, without being winded. Racers coming to him have turned themselves around, period (JP$, who had nothing for Ashley Fiolek the year before, is a good example). Some of the things he's doing are cutting edge and often met with critics. One fact is undeniable, he's IN shape while Ping, IS a shape (round is a shape, right?.....J/K Ping).
I am 39 and getting ready to put on my new spockets and chain & tires on my YZ125 Cuz like Ping, we still can make em run like the wind :).... But for the love of god and all that is pure, that photo made me have a little slippage in my pants.......And Ryno I like ya man, always have!
Carlsbad, that was classic, not sure if I agree with the Chuck Norris part though. I heard the Boogey-man checks in his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
Ummm ..... I think it's guy, fellas ......
Paige needs to consider what her pal really wants to do and would do if she wasn't grazing on the couch next to him. He'd rewind a few seconds and slow-mo the DVR as the camera man goes from the Monster girl's shoes up between her legs and all the way up to the 30 second board....and maybe repeat a few times. Good to see she's trying though by drinking Bud LIGHT. Yeah, that'll do the trick.
Ping - your last reply was a riot!!!! Totally the way I would have responded. LOL!
I wondered about that...but either way it is sure scary---maybe it's actually a character from a movie (?) And yet that Michael Jackson nose-tip looks def like an add-on, and why would the effects-man do that?
Feel sorry for it, if it is indeed real. I would beg, borrow, or steal the dough to get me a new grill, period.
Xof a si lrig taht.
Maybe Ryno's hips lock? Perhaps all his life, he's assumed that all other peoples' hips lock, too? Might explain his funny way of walking. The only way I know of locking hips is to be standing up straight as possible. If someone were to drop a pallet of sheetrock on you while standing totally erect, you legs might actually pop out of their sockets, because your hips were locked and wouldn't bend.
However, it is unlikely any rider, no matter how much of a goon, could lock their hips like a Marine standing at attention while riding on a track, except perhaps Trey Canard when he's goonin' around... That might be possible.
I am surpised that Ping is attempting to educate that chick on changing her partying ways. Ping is notorious for being a huge beer guzzler himself! It's well known that the guy drinks like a fish. We spotted him in the pits in Anaheim and he was obviously hung over. He looked like death, it was hilarious!
So Ping, before you start belittling others you would be wise to call the people over at A&E's intervention and set up your own 2 hour episode (commercial free) and get your own shit together.
Hey Carlsbad,
Chuck Norris would knock Hughes like a front door. BTW, he's been JP$'s trainer for a few years, not just her championship year, so I'm not sure we can credit her turnaround to him.
I think I'd fall over if I ever read a Pizzacorner post where he didn't senselessly bash someone ... but Hughes a "California Liberal kook"? Yes, as I look around me and see the "obesification" of America, how DARE he get people to train and eat well. That's INSANE. LOL If you had any idea how many chemicals are floating around in your body thanks to the likes of Kraft, FritoLay, PepsiCo, et al, perhaps you wouldn't be so flip about "organics." I'm surprised that the little round man was so insulting toward Ryno, too. Obviously, he's not an example of a finely-tuned human machine. Go ahead, blame the liberals, but it's the stupid red-neck Americans who believe anything the food commercials on the boob tube tell them (HFCS is natural ... RIGHT!) that are causing the health care crisis.
Hughes is a unlicensed trainer with no education in personal fitness or nutrition. Does every pro rider have the credit to become a trainer? His "Supplements" are just private label garbage like all the others. He is a complete *****ing hack. In reality he is just a salesman.
Funny.......... usually overweight welfare rats are Liberals, then they go to the ER when their arm starts to tingle.
Great column as usual, although I smell a rat as far as Paige's letter, awfully well written for a '40 something' lung bung smashing boiler. Hmmm, nice work Ping?
Dear Ryno, my wife is due in 3 weeks, How exactly does she unlock her hips?
Sheesh, Pizzacorner, did he bang your wife or something? What's with the personal attack? Ryan Hughes was a mauler in his usually top 10 ranked pro AMA career, was known for his fitness level, probably could box half of the pro AMA pit during his reign (90's), his wife was a "Miss Fitness" contest winner, he's trained some AMA pros with considerable success as well as started a organic food company to further benefit the training committed (as well as benefitting his pocketbook which, is not a crime last I checked). So yeah, he probably knows more than somebody who sat in a classroom for "X" amount of hours to get their credentials. Then there's his race wins and multiple Vet Titles......I would imagine a guy like David Bailey doesn't know a thing about fitness in your estimations either, eh?
MXracer24... I don't even like beer. Not sure where you get your info but it's wrong.I haven't had any alcohol since starting medic school in August. You sure you're talking about me?
And I swear that letter from the chick came in just like that (aside from a few grammatical errors I corrected).
the pic of her/him well thats what crack does 2 ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,,,,,,stay off the pipe that ya stick in your mouth kiddies and on the pipe that ya twist
With regards to unlocking the hips, Ryno is on the right track. Your hips are designed to provide mobility were as your low back provides stability. The problem with a large majority of professional racers and weekend warriors is the loss of hip mobility due to injury, improper stretching, loss of core dynamics and a number of other things. Not being able to "unlock" your hips will cause poor riding technique. I
siht ckuf
Always look forward to your articles Ping... even though you kinda bashed me way back when... I wonder if I can still find it in the achieves!!
TY!!
Listen to Ryan Hughes and you will be cursing yourself for microwaving your vegetables as you go over a berm in a routine corner.
Oh well, at least people will think you're INTENSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@pizzacorner: I'm with ya, dude! Ryno dyno has just locked on to a marketing ploy and it's working for him. All of the fools who are buying into it, well, keep on buying.
Yes there are some riders who do well with him, but I think they have so much talent, the would do well with any "trainer".
Why are all women such haters?!? Act like you're not the same as us men while you have a picture of Brad Pitt with no shirt right next to a Twilight calendar in your office cubical. I've seen it a lot and it's just as pathetic, if not more so, than what us guys do. At least we don't pretend to be above it.