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Hey Ping-

As I was playing the new MX vs ATV Reflex game I got to thinking that someone should come out with a video game that is a combination of MX vs ATV and Grand Theft Auto, featuring Jason Lawrence.  Players could compete in Supercross and Motocross (finishing each race is optional) as well as roam the world around them.  They could roll rental cars and get into fights with fans and other riders, all the while trying to avoid being thrown in the slammer.  What do you think?

Brian Godwin

Dear Brian,

I’d call you an uncaring, callous bastard if that weren’t such a good idea. But as you were describing it my mind drifted into a new game called Grand Theft Moto starring JLaw and me as teammates. We went to the races together but our goal wasn’t to win races, rather to score more points by partying, fighting and causing general mayhem in and around the pro pits. I even flashed to a scene where Jason jumped the gate, roosted Erin Normoyle in the first turn and then launched his bike into the AMA trailer after they black-flagged him. It was horrific yet entertaining at the very same time. I’m also picturing a bonus round where you munch as many ears as possible. I’m going to call Roncada and see if I can get him working on this right now.

PING

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Dear Racer X,

I'm 15 and I'm just about to get started with racing for the first time as soon as I get my new bike. What are some tips for a newbie to get a quick start in racing?

Chris Kitchens
Lakeland, FL

Dear Chris,

Step one is a good insurance policy. After that I suggest finding a good instructor in your area and hit him up for some basic lessons. Thinking that you can just figure it all out on your own is silly. I’ve been an on-again, off-again golfer for about fifteen years. Not once have I shot under 100 legitimately, Chris. Do you know why that is? It’s because I’m a stubborn ass that refuses to take any lessons to improve my swing. I look more like an angry lumberjack hacking away at a stubborn spruce tree than a golfer when I hit the links. And there is no safe zone within 180 degrees of the general direction that I’m hitting the ball, especially when I pull my driver out. Be better than me, Chris. Go get some instruction. After that it’s all about seat time. The more you can ride the more you will improve. And finally, I suggest staying on your parent’s good side because you will definitely need their help in all this. Good luck.

PING

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Hey Ping,

Now that "BT101" has signed with Team Troy Lee Designs / Lucas Oil / Honda are you gonna make him do push-ups for taking your number? I know those cab doors hanging off the sides of his head are tempting but for the sake of your rap sheet, don't go J-Law/Tyson on them.

Bob

Dear Bob,

Things are definitely going to get a little weird around the shop when Ben gets here. Not only have we signed him for the outdoor nationals but Troy recently recruited David Knight to wear TLD helmets. That’s two too many guys with the same number hanging around the shop. Now, I’m fairly certain I could kick Ben’s ass if it comes down to a fist fight over it [Bring it, Ben] but what am I going to do about Knight? That guy looks like an all-star defensive lineman in the NFL. And he’s always smiling! How do you deal with a guy stomping you into the ground with a big ol’ doo-doo eating grin on his face? If we can’t work out a peaceful agreement it might just be time to consider another number.

PING