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| First Name: |
Chad |
| Last Name: |
Lesausky |
| Email Address: |
chadlesausky@hotmail.com |
| URL: |
http://sprtn757.yelp.com |
| Username: |
sprtn757 |
| City: |
San Francisco |
| State: |
California |
| Country: |
United States |
| Province: |
Older Budweiser |
| About Me: |
Growing up in the rural confines of Michigan was a true test of one's will to live, animal instinct and fear of God. Failure to posses flying colors in any of these areas would surely void the warranty on your birth certificate or at least guarantee that Wal-Mart would be receiving another stellar job application. Actually it wasn't as tough as it seemed as your lot in life here in the land of the Great Lakes did somewhat depend on which side of the river your mama changed your diapers on. Anyway with all its pristine rivers, crystal clear lakes and landmine littered fields Michigan is a proving ground for the human soul. James Brown put it best in one of those Motown classics when he said," I don't know karate, but I know crazy." A particular instance comes to mind that embodies the aforementioned "tri-axis of natural selection". It was a balmy August evening where old dogs too heat stricken to move were often found with their tongues coated in sand and lined with ants who were eagerly making their way over the canine's glossopteris and onto a sugary oasis at the edge of spilt "pop" can. Indeed Michigan can be hell on wheels with mosquitoes as thick as Grandma's oatmeal buzzing like vibrators in a Larry Flint production. This particular evening was to be the last day of the Ludington Fair. A pilgrimage of sorts where every redneck and his cousin/wife (depending if they were married) would ingest fist full after fist full of popcorn and wash it down with a couple of gallons of Pepsi while watching America's favorite pastime. That's right ladies and gentleman the annual demolition derby was in town! ??Now I'm all for good clean fun and this was just a bunch of guys who converted grannies old station wagon into lean, mean, ass kicking machines with sponsors such as The Tiki Bar and Lounge and Lu Lu''s Day Care. It was and still is a source of regional pride for a lot of folks as they put their faith and Miller High Life behind cars with such names as "Mama's Boy", "Steal Resurve" and my favorite "Coon Pecker's Point". ??This of course is a dangerous affair with many young hotshots making a trip to the ambulance. That's why events such as these are always accompanied by an opening prayer as if the Almighty himself would reserve the 3rd Sunday of August to take a break from saving starving babies in Iraq and give his blessing to the aspiring NASCAR drivers this fine county had to offer. Had Henry Ford been born a few millennia earlier we might have seen the twelve apostles engage in their own demo derby to determine who got to sit next to Jesus at the Last Supper. As they say, "If God didn't want it then God would not have made it". With this I am as certain as a chicken on the chopping block that Jesus was indeed a redneck. ? |
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