Things People Say

Okay, so I figure if you've found my blog on this website, you are either a racer or at least die-hard fan. This means you have probably seen people before who have absolutely no idea what they are talking about but like to think they do. Or like what usually happens to me: the other person figures I’m a girl and I don’t know anything, so I'm bound to be impressed with their gibberish. I have heard a lot of stupid things in my life, like back when my brother got his first four-stroke, a YZF 426, and some guy tried explaining to me the difference between my brother's bike and my 125. His explanation: My brother’s bike has four cylinders while mine only had two. I may be blonde, but I am not stupid. Of course, I am not rude either, so I gave the standard reply to anyone who is full of shit: a smile and a nod. Then there was the time in school when a girl told me the only muscle it takes to ride a dirt bike is your thumb—you know, to push the throttle. Yeah, okay.

My biggest pet peeve, though, is when someone who is older than me (and not into riding) tells me that I should reconsider my profession, because when I am 50, I won't be able to get out of bed anymore. They usually go on and on about how I have no idea what it feels like to have your body lock up in the morning and not be able to get out of bed. “Just you wait and see.…” To this, I have a few things to say. First, they are right: I am still young, so I don’t really know what it’s going to be like when I’m older. However, I have a list of broken bones longer than all of the older non-racers (the only people who ever tell me to quit) I know put together! I know exactly what it’s like to not be able to get out of bed or be able to dress myself, as I am sure most everyone who considers themselves more than just a weekend warrior does. I can’t remember the last time I woke up and thought, Wow, nothing hurts. But the way I look at it is, I am only 24 years old, and my body is already shot. I'm going to hurt when I'm older no matter what, and while I'm sure the pain will worsen when I get older, I figure the damage is already done, right? So why quit now? Just because I'm afraid of getting older?

I have heard a lot of really stupid stuff, but right now I want to share my experience that gave me the inspiration to blog about the things other people say that make us all laugh. Trust me, this one tops them all! The other day, I was hanging out with my friend Stacey, and some guy who found out I rode started asking me a bunch of questions, trying to impress me with his knowledge of my sport. First he asked me what kind of bike I rode, and when I answered Suzuki, he had to show off more by asking two-stroke or four? Of course, this must have seemed like an educated question to him, except for the fact it’s almost 2009 and most of the manufacturers don’t even make two-strokes anymore! Of course, I don’t need to tell you this (this was just the first (1) of many dumb things this guy had to say).

When I answered I ride a four-stroke, he rolled his eyes at me and told me how much better his two-stroke is (2). He built the motor himself (3), and it was way faster than my bike (4), and we can race any time and he will beat me (5). When I tried to tell him that two-strokes are becoming obsolete, he answered with “If four-strokes are so much better, why does James Stewart still race a two-stroke (6)?” Of course, when I tried to explain that he doesn’t, he kept talking and telling me why two-strokes and Stewart are so much better. “You see, two-strokes come out of the corners harder (7), and that’s how you get the drive to hit the jumps, by hammering it when you come out of the turns (Really? I thought you were actually supposed to carry momentum and speed all the way through the turn) (8). And that is why Stewart always wins, because with the speed of his two-stroke (9) he is able to jump farther than anyone else (has he ever heard of the Bubba Scrub?) (10), and that’s where the races are won, by jumping the farthest (11).

Of course, then he went on about how great he was and mentioned that he used to live in Washington, so, knowing it would bring more entertainment, I asked him how he liked Washougal. He looked at me with a blank stare, so I explained that a national is held there every July. He tried to recover by saying he has heard of it but never got to race there. In fact, he was “supposed to make my pro debut there (12) but wrecked my bike the week before and couldn’t get it fixed in time. Yeah, I wrapped my bike around a tree (heard the saying, never actually seen it happen) (13) and it was completely totaled.” I held back my laughter and he continued to tell me about his skills as a mechanic and how physically demanding racing is, especially since his 250 two-stroke weighs 575 pounds (14)! He weighed it (15)! As if all of this weren't enough, he closed by saying his bike is so fast, he would seriously be surprised if Stewart’s bike was faster (16).

Now, I know it might not be in good form to write an entire blog making fun of someone else, but it's in good humor! I got such a laugh out of this guy, I just had to pass it on, because I know we've all met guys like this. Besides, I figure if this guy doesn’t know Stewart rides a 450, he hasn’t visited Racer X Online in a long time. He'll never know.