Ask Ping!Friday, October 25, 2013 | 9:30 AM
I am a motocross fan wanted to know if I could be patricinados for some company to my dream of being adceder Cadre of motocross racer. since my resources are very limited attention given grace in
I’m not sure what to do with this here, fella. I’m running a little short on questions this week [way to drop the ball, readers] so I didn’t have a lot of options. There is some heavy-duty Spanglish going on here so instead of venturing a guess of what it means I think I’ll just refer you to a quote from Billy Madison’s academic decathlon scene.
“What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
Am I just an old fart, or do you too think that the racers could stand to have a little bit better presentation when they are "working" at the races? I mean, we're talking about guys that make more coin than your average everyday Joe, so what's up with the bad haircuts and 3-day old stubble? I don't like to shave and primp too much either on my off days, but if I'm going to work, I always look presentable with a shave and a little product in the ol' mop. A guy doesn't have to get all metrosexual and all that, but sheesh, it looks like Dean Wilson and Ryan Villopoto get together to give each other bad haircuts with a Flowbee.
If I were on TV giving interviews, signing autographs, and picking up pro-ho's and pit-tootsies, I'd be damn sure to head on down to Supercuts, or Great Clips or wherever the $6.99 coupon special was.
I’m not sure which side to argue for here. On the one hand you want the leaders of our sport to be professionals, set a good example to young kids and try to look like they aren’t heroin-shooting members of an unknown Ska band. I get that. On the other hand, this is motocross. It’s a youth-driven, trend-setting sport full of energy drinks and girls with breast augmentations. You can’t have it both ways, pal. Look, I’m not going to pass judgment if all these guys want to give themselves a David Beckham-wannabe haircut, even if they turn out looking more like Sloth from The Goonies. But when you add to the questionable hairdo a sleeve of tattoos, pierced ears and grammar like one of the hillbillies from Deliverance it seems like some of them could do better. Generally speaking, I think we have a pretty good group of racers in the sport right now. Most of them are genuine, down-to-earth guys who you would want to meet at a pub and have a beer with. You know, as long as they were wearing a hat to cover up that silly hair.
Since you are the alpha and omega when it comes to motocross grammar, I need your help. Every time I read the past tense of "holeshot" which apparently is actually "holeshot", it just never sounds right. The announcers always refer to a specific rider getting the holeshot out of turn one when they are announcing it as it happens, so shouldn't the past tense of the word when being written in an article be about so and so having "holeshotted" the start (or something of the like)? See below... I'm confused.
From your own Racer X: "Hill holeshot the 20-lap final and led the race from start to finish, greeting the chequered flag over four seconds ahead of Moss". Doesn't it seem like something is missing?
Please share your wisdom, Ping.
"Great" Dane B.
Sunny Florida (where it's still 80 degrees)
Hey, I’m no Harvard grammar professor I just try to encourage people to write as though they were born with the appropriate number of chromosomes. If they can utilize capital letters, apply proper punctuation and avoid double negatives I’m happy. The true wordsmith of Racer X is Jeff Kocan, who is based out of smoke-filled office in New York City if I understand correctly. His mastery of the English language is phenomenal and I enlisted his help for this question.
1) Is that really from Racer X? Why would we spell it "chequered"? Are we secretly hiring Australians again? [Ed. Note: The article in reference was actually a press release from the Australian Supercross Championship.]
2) "Holeshot" is one of those words with no graceful past-tense options. If you look at "shot" as the root of the verb, then it makes a little more sense—you wouldn't say "I shotted you with my gun" unless you're four years old (and have some violent tendencies). That's about the age limit for "holeshotted" in my book, too.
An alternative would be to deconstruct the word, molecular gastronomy-style, and use its components separately. "Hill shoots the hole!" isn't really an improvement, but it's way funnier to yell in a big screechy announcer voice.
There’s the straight poop from the guy with the big brain. Personally, I wish we could get people using “holeshat” as a past-tense form of the word but that’s due to my grossly immature sense of humor and love of the word shat. Thanks for writing in from Big Sky Country.
Have a question for Ping? Email him at [email protected].
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Check out THE MOTOCROSS OF 40 NATIONSin our Latest issue of Racer X available now.
The 2013 FIM Motocross of Nations at Teutschenthal, Germany, hosted teams from a record forty countries. Here’s how it played out for each of them. Page 90.