Ping,

I know I am asking for it with this one, but I will proceed.  I see you raced Mammoth recently… it can be fun.  My question is why do so many people sand bag?  I raced there a couple of years ago and in the novice class two of the guys who beat me had finished top 2 in a recent CMC series in the Intermediate class.  That was just a couple of the guys who dropped down to take home a trophy instead of staying in their class.  Why do so many people drop down for the easy trophy instead of working hard to earn one in the class they belong?

Thanks.

Genuine Novice Racer

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  I actually saw a couple guys in Mammoth wearing these.

That’s a terrific question. I think it comes down to man’s visceral desire to be the best at something. That coupled with a piss-poor work ethic and an utter lack of integrity equates to bunch of spineless man-ginas dropping down a class at big amateur events like the Mammoth Motocross. These are the same guys that kept going to high school parties when they were in college. Their parents probably didn’t pay enough attention to them, or paid too much attention to them, when they were young and this is how they build up their self-esteem. Nice work, guys. Way to kick ass on a group of riders less skilled than you. You are one giant bag of douche.

PING

Hello there Mr Pingree,

Lets just get the sucking up out of the way first: I love reading these every week; they give me a good chuckle. Although my question has been covered (sort of) 1 million and 1 times I'm going to ask it anyway. Now, I know the riders are home schooled, and call me a grammar nazi if you wish, but why is it seen as OK for motocross riders to be verbally retarded? I mean, every time I hear them say something like, "I rode good," the English nerd inside me has a little panic attack. Hell, even our very own beloved commentator Mr. Jeff Emig spent the best part of 20 seconds during a recent broadcast trying to think of the word to describe Stewart's riding style (if I'm not mistaken). In your DVD "Motocross 101" (shameless plug on your behalf – you’re welcome), you seem to be able to speak adequate English, rather than whatever it is the riders speak during podium interviews.

Luke

• 
  A young soccer hooligan the victim of the three P's.

One of my old trainers, Asterisk’s Eddie Casillas, used to be big on the six “P’s.” Proper prior planning prevents piss-poor performance. It was a nice little pneumonic that blended alliteration with good ol’ hard work and just a hint of obscenity. It was lovely. But when it comes to youth, particularly the character, personality and education of younger people in general, I’ve implemented my own catchphrase, slightly abbreviated from Eddie’s. The three P’s: Piss-poor parenting.  That’s really what it all comes down to. Of course your fourteen year-old son is going to slack on his homework if he’s not supervised… that’s what kids do. Of course he’s going to set fire to something, see if he can drink a gallon of milk or eat five Saltine crackers in five minutes, stay out late and eat candy bars until type 2 diabetes sets in. That is what kids will do without parental supervision and input. Kids are idiots. Trust me, I used to be one. My point is that it’s rarely the kid’s fault. If you have to point a finger, pay a compliment or throw a stone aim it at mom and dad. That’s where it all went wrong or right.

PING

Dear Ping,

With the X Games coming up this weekend I wonder what it’s like being down there at the Staples Center in LA? Then I remembered that you actually did some Supermoto at one point. Is it as cool as it all looks on TV? Are the athletes treated like stars? Do you see any stars there or does that just happen when you crash?

Bored in Wisconsin

The X Games is a good television show. But, like most television shows, there is a lot of horse crap that goes on behind the scenes. The bottom line is that ESPN doesn’t care about athletes or the spectators… the only thing that matters to them is the broadcast and their viewer numbers. That’s it. If an FMX guy splatters himself all over the landing ramp their only concern is how will his absence affect television numbers. If it was a spectacular crash that spikes highlight clips it could even be a good thing. Remember that poor bastard whose shoes flew off when he fell thirty feet out of the air in the Skateboard Superpipe event a couple years ago? That was television gold and they mined it like Yukon Cornelius, licking their axe pick all the way to bank.

They do give you a nice gift bag and they have an athlete lounge with food and all the sugary energy drinks your kidneys can handle. As far as celebrity attendance goes, I’m sure one of the Kardashians will be roaming around and whatever piece of Hollywood tail Josh Hansen is hanging around with. Are those considered celebrities?

PING