Ping,

When you are discussing MX with people outside of the industry do you still find yourself making the "RRRrrRrrAAAARrrrAAARrraarararar" sound and moving your hand up and down (as a bike going through the gears? )
 
Roy

Dear Roy,

You know, I used to do that quite a bit. If I hopped off a curb or leaped over a small gap I would let out an instinctive “Braaap.” But when the sport switched to four-strokes there was no way to make that transition. I have yet to hear someone do a good four-stroke impression; they usually just sound like they are trying to cough up a partially chewed piece of steak. It’s the end of an era for me, Roy. And maybe it’s a good thing. It’s practically impossible to command any respect when you are in a room full of people that don’t know motocross and you do your best imitation of a 250 ripping across a set of whoops: “Braaadadadadadadadada.” Do that in a job interview and the next thing you’re guaranteed to hear is, “Yeah, we’ve got your resume… we’ll be in touch. Buh-bye.”

If I can ever perfect the four-stoke you can bet your sweet ass that I’ll be bringing it back.

PING 

• 

Dear Ping,

This is more of a general question than a moto-specific query. Can you tell me why this country is getting lazier and fatter by the day? I am growing more and more disgusted with the obesity and despicable work ethic of this generation. Is TLD selling more XXL sized gear these days?

Hank Beems

Dear Hank,

We are a bunch of lazy fatties, aren’t we? I couldn’t agree with you more, Hank. I mean, I don’t think that everyone needs to look like Kate Moss on the third week of a cleanse. Most of us couldn’t afford the amount of cocaine it would take to look like her anyway. But when a guy gets to the point where he can’t see his wedding tackle anymore then it’s time to put down the extra large sausage pizza with extra sausage and go for a walk. I think the problem with obesity is directly related to the work ethic and attitude of this generation. Their entitlement mentality has created a bunch of whiny kids that are too lazy to work for anything, including a six-pack [abdominal muscles or malted beverage]. And the bottom line is that staying fit isn’t easy, especially as you get older. I got angry the other night when I saw that my wife had framed a picture of her with another man; A man with a defined jaw line and ten percent body fat. Then I realized that handsome, svelte bastard was me when we were dating ten years ago.

I don’t know if Troy is selling more large pants now than he was a decade ago but I know I see more fat kids than I used to. Sadly, the only motocross they are likely to do is on a Sony Playstation.

PING

Ping-a-Ling,

Are you coming to Loretta’s this Year? The 30-plus class is ready for ya’.

Landon

Dear Landon,

I’m not going to make there this year. It always sounds like a great idea until I really have to sit down and figure out the logistics of taking my whole family to a dude ranch in Tennessee for a week in the heat and humidity of August. And then the same thought always hits me: I’d rather spend my vacation days in Hawaii. Maybe next year?

Mahalo.

PING